With so little control over their time, new mothers suffer guilt at home and at work. There’s tremendous pressure to be there for the baby, siblings, spouses or partners, and others in the family – including, sometimes, aging parents. At the same time, there is pressure not only to perform and keep up with peers but also to keep up with “pre-baby” productivity standards.

Some mothers believe that others are judging or criticising them, without any evidence to support this belief. When this happens, I believe the mother is often harbouring her own secret feelings of guilt, and projecting them onto friends, family and work colleagues.

Projection is when the parts of ourselves that cause us pain or that we have not yet realised in ourselves, become repressed or just below conscious awareness and from that point on, start to show up in other people, via experiences, relationships, at work, family, etc.  Taking responsibility for our own negative traits, and yes, if necessary dealing with the emotional pain involved, is the only way to free yourself from this type of situation.  See a coach or counsellor to support you if necessary.

Some tips to help you along the way:

• Align yourself with your decision to work.  Write out a list of all the positive reasons why you are working – what are you really trying to achieve for yourself and your family?  Then stop and think about that part of you that is trying to protect you, somehow, by making you feel guilty.  What is this part trying to achieve?  What is it’s positive intention for you (not your child)?  Is it to ensure you feel loved and respected by others? Is this intention different to your positive intention for working?  Often the positive and negative ‘parts’ really want the same thing.  Think about how you could satisfy this negative part with a new decision that serves you better. Ask a NLP practitioner to help you with integrating these two ‘parts’ of yourself if you are struggling with this on your own.
• Remember that your choice to work is yours alone to make. Your role as a mother is frought with opportunities for self-doubt without external criticism; you certainly don’t need anyone else questioning whether or not you’ve done your best as a parent. Just remember to love your child and give them the very best of you when you are together. Whatever your reasons for working after having children, know that your family benefits from either the financial assistance you provide or from a mother who is fulfilled in all areas of her life.
• Strive for balance.  A sense of balance has to be worked on continuously, day by day and sometimes hour by hour. Many women say they need to be more disciplined in managing their time than ever before.   Even women who are well organised and who carefully plan their schedules have to adapt to last-minute contingencies, at home and at work.
• Reward yourself.  With life being so much busier, it’s sometimes difficult to see the benefits of what you are achieving in amongst the household chores and to-do lists.  Schedule time out, even if it’s a monthly massage or manicure, or a weekly walk around the park on your own.  Something that’s your small reward and ‘time out’ from the daily balancing act.  And remember to tell yourself how well you’re doing – whether success is big or small it’s worth celebrating!

If you continue to feel mother guilt after returning to work and settling your child in to a high quality care environment, think about the positive things you could do to proactively deal with the guilt consider:

• Spending a whole day with your child at the weekend doing nothing but fun stuff, ignore the household chores and spend the time doing things you all love.
• Negotiating to work more flexibly, for example ask whether you can start work earlier and finish earlier so you can pick your child up in time to spend a few hours with them in the evening.
• Finding a child care service near you or your partner’s workplace so one of you can pop in during the day.
• Creating special family routines around your work schedule to give you some firm personal commitments and some events to look forward to in the working week.

Although, it may sometimes feel as though guilt and parenting go hand-in-hand, remember that guilt is simply a negative manifestation of the deep emotional bond you have with your child.  Parenting is THE biggest learning curve ever, I believe.  There’s all those daily small decisions contribute to the development of a whole new little personality – decisions that differ from parent to parent and situation to situation.  There simply is no rule book, or one right way to be a parent.

Whether you return to work or not doesn’t predicate you as a good or bad mother.  Align yourself with your choice, either way and then confidently make it happen.  For your sake and for your family.

Are you planning to do something BIG this year with your business? Is this BIG goal shared by your team, are they fully engaged in your vision and excited about working together to achieve success? Or are you unsure how to motivate and engage your support team, or plagued with interpersonal issues between team members that affect their effectiveness and productivity? Are you irreplaceable – the business is totally reliant on your daily efforts?  Or perhaps you lack confidence in your own ability to lead the team towards success?

If any of these issues are affecting you and your team, let’s work together to make 2012 the year that fundamentally changes all this. It’s never too late to crank things up towards a new direction, and let’s face it, leadership and team issues cost your business in more ways than sales. The  presenteeism, absenteeism, internal conflicts and employee or customer turnover have costs that are difficult to quantify yet significantly impact your businesses ability to provide a level of service you can be proud of, let alone grow in sales or into new markets.

According to economists, 2012 is the year to eliminate waste and duplication on selling and all forms of unproductive work.  We need to have bosses and companies who care more about their teams, who can support them as they make the fundamental changes needed to propel the company to new levels.  And we need teams who understand their contribution to business drivers and are inspired to creatively build new products and processes to meet the evolving market opportunities.

Incredible People offers strategic planning, team building and leadership coaching to work teams from 3 to 3,000. While there are differences in delivery for the size of the group, the goals are the same.

You can run your year like last year – and probably get similar results.  Or you can push yourself to ask daring questions, which can often lead to radically better results.  Why not give Natalie a call now to discuss your 2012 goals?  There’s no charge for a chat.  Let’s make 2012 the year to achieve that BIG goal, after all.

They say that 80% of resolutions are broken within a month.  Bah humbug!  That’s just negative talk that serves no-one.

You see, I know plenty of leaders in all types of business, industry and government who achieve their goals all the time.  Perhaps not in the timeframe they planned or in the way they originally intended.  But hit those goals none-the-less.

Yet often when I speak to those leaders about their desires when they got started or their vision for the future I hear whimsical yearnings or statements without any true belief that these dreams can be achieved.  There’s not the money, time, right people, whatever….. to make it happen.

Well, enough!  If you have a dream, then I believe you can succeed.  If it’s good enough for Martin Luther King Jnr then why can’t it be good enough for you?  And as they say, if you shoot for the stars you may land on the moon.  And that would be a good thing, surely.  At least you’re on your way and not stuck in never-never land. Let’s face it, if Sir Richard Branson has his sights on the moon, at least you will be in good company.

I love working with people with drive and vision who want to achieve big goals.  If that’s you please get in touch.  I’m always up for a chat about how you have achieved success and what big goals you have for your business.

“If you want to be good at implementing strategy you must be able to empower your people”  Professor Srikanth Datar, Harvard Business School in Perth this week (Translating Strategy to Action, Australian Institute of Management International seminar)

I attended this seminar half expecting to listen to discussions on planning, managing risk and uncertainty, focusing on the end goals, etc.  And of course, managing change through people. Yes, all these things were discussed however the bulk of the session was spent looking deeper into this catch-word of “empowerment”, why managers find it so hard to actually do (despite being able to sprout off the benefits) and how leaders can create “levers of control” that establish enough clarity for employees and managers to facilitate/support empowerment while lessening the potential risks.

Professor Datar used a model by Robert Simons (Levers of Control, HBS Press 1995) to identify 4 control systems that leaders in high-performing organisations implement in order to support employee empowerment.  You will need to read into this more to fully understand the idea, however in summary the 4 systems are:

1. Diagnostic control systems:  Defining key performance indicators and other quality/organisational measures, the incentive and compensation systems that leverage from these measures.
2. Interactive control systems:  Provide for strategic uncertainties and include incorporating process data into management decision making, face-to-face meetings with employees, challenging data presented, etc.
3. Boundary systems:  Risks to be avoided, “thou shalt not” descriptors such as codes of conduct, legislation, operational guidelines.
4. Belief systems: Core values including mission and vision statements.  These become important when employees encounter  unexpected situations, where the policies/procedures don’t prescribe what they should do.

Professor Datar made an interesting observation – that typically organisations are quite good at defining/measuring KPIs (system 1) and integrating data/feedback from implementation into management decisions and discussions with emloyees.  However typically organisations aren’t so great at commiting to their code of conduct/ethics or in instilling the organisational values to employees at all levels.  (He also went on to say that these are the most difficult challenges of parenting too!).  Yet the organisations that have truly embraced employee empowerment, regardless of where that are located globally, have fully integrated control systems around the “trust” and “belief” systems mentioned above.  It seems to me that this is the key to managers becoming comfortable to let go of some control and handle the potential risk of employee empowerment. The systems give employees permission and freedom to strive to deliver on strategic outcomes.

Why bother?  Because decades of research show that empowered employees achieve a lot more (the power of numbers), are more motivated, are more engaged in the outcome, experience personal growth, feel appreciated, facilitate faster and better decision making, and unleash more (creative) enegry in the organisation.

If you need assistance in identifying your organisation’s values, instilling those values in your employees or with a code of conduct then get in touch.  We can guide you through the process and support your strategic success.

“With groups of 5 to 2000+ people,  working in one-day workshops, three-day conferences, or the regular weekly staff meeting, the common result is a powerful, effective connecting and strengthening of what’s already happening in the organisation: planning and action, learning and doing, passion and responsibility, participation and performance. ”

I’ve been priveledged to use this faclilitation process twice in the last month with client’s teams wanting to engage the whole towards one transformational goal, creatively explore options and identify key action steps to make it all happen.  I have to say, I’m so inspired and excited by the results we’ve achieved.  Although the two groups shared common traits, they differed in the seniority of participants (one was exclusively senior managers while the other was the entire team) and also in their initial agreement on their purpose.  I found that the Open Space process established a fundamental opportunity for everyone to engage at their level of interest (passion) and responsibility, and for disparate views to be aired respectfully and managed by the group.

What was most rewarding for me, as the facilitator, was that both groups came to a shared respect for differences and developed one single focus, despite what seemed to be polar differences at the beginning.  By lunchtime there was lots of informal chatting and laughter – something which only increased as the day went on.  This was a sign that participants were becoming more comfortable with each other – the opportunity to contribute, be heard, and engage on their own terms seemed to be the foundation for forming new respect and understanding for others.

While Open Space may seem a little chaotic at first for the participants, I’m an absolute convert with regards to the outcomes the process achieves.  There is simply no better process in my toolkit to engage teams to creatively resolve “wicked” problems or rally towards a common purpose.

If you want to know more, please get in touch!  I’m happy to give you more information….

Think about a wave in the ocean: there are millions of molecules of water that somehow form into an organised and powerful force.  A person wanting to surf the wave needs to respect that the force is unchangeable, read the signs and decide whether to catch that wave or wait for the next.  If a surfer chooses to ride that wave, they can use their skill and experience to steer the board and hopefully ride the wave all the way into shore. Sometimes this works and sometimes they get dumped.  Hopefully they can paddle out again and have another attempt.

While I’m a huge advocate of strategic planning, I have worked with enough organisations over a period of time to know that the majority of the plan that is developed in a planning workshop doesn’t get implemented, despite everyone’s best intentions.  This is because organisations are like waves – they’re made up of many tiny pieces that interact in ways leaders cannot control.  Resources, information, technology, culture, politics, competition – so many variables yet we start out every year with a new plan to tame them! That doesn’t mean that planning is a total waste of time – it’s essential to know where you want to get to and how you see that happening – just accepting that “the map is not the territory” is extremely important.

If we accept that an organisation is a system that essentially organises itself (good things happen with or without the plan or even the leader), then leadership becomes more about riding the wave of uncertainty and steering the organisation towards overall goals and values. It’s about navigating the territory – working with and/or around the unexpected things that aren’t on the map, and doing so in a way that keep the entire organisation aligned towards it’s purpose.

This is where authentic leadership comes in.  When you’re riding the wave of uncertainty there will be issues that arise that will challenge you to the core.  The manager is unlikely to have all the right answers - a different leader may surface from within the team at different times, depending upon knowledge and interest.     Leadership therefore can be defined as passion and responsibilty – a leader is someone who cares enough to want to achieve the outcome and who takes responsibility for the required actions.  As the formal leader it is your job to protect the emerging leader – to create a space for them to work, along with others who are passionalte about that cause, towards a new and innovative solution.

Being able to let go of the traditional leadership role and embrace the power within your team will stack the odds in favour of success.  This takes great courage, and a genuine belief in the capability of others around you. But to me, that’s what leadership is all about!

The book had many more lessons for me.  However a key message was to let go of trying to control the system – accept that the system organises itself through so many factors that it’s impossible to control.  And then make sure you’re passionate about the outcome and willing to take responsiblity for what needs to be done.  Then hopefully, you will get to suf the wave all the way to the shore and bring the entire team along with you.

If you’re anything like me, you’ve progressed – although the path may have changed a little, or even a lot!  I hope for you that’s your reality – in which case please take this opportunity to celebrate and be grateful for your achievements.  The universe will reward you with even more!

If however you’re stuck as to how to progress with something you’ve genuinely been wanting to shift, then maybe it’s time for a new perspective.  Sit down with a trusted friend or associate and share your idea.  Speak to the Small Business Corporation in your area.  Approach a mentor who is doing what you want to be doing and ask for assistance.  Or engage a coach to assist you in clarifying and keeping you accountable to your goals.  There are so many ways you can establish a supportive foundation for your ideas….. what’s stopping you?? Don’t let yourself get in your own way… dare to be different.  Challenge yourself to great things – and you will amaze yourself as to what you (yes even you) can achieve!

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”  (Winston Churchill)

You may have heard this concept before, “fail fast forward”, and it’s certainly one that seems to ‘click’ for me.  I think it defines my own style, but also I see it as a solution for many leaders I see who feel constrained by red tape and organisational culture, or who are trying to make significant changes to their own life or their business but keep hitting roadblocks.

I’m not encouraging you to do just anything – obviously consider your actions and weigh up the risks.  But if there’s a chance it might not go quite as you planned….. well, maybe that’s ok – as long as you’re doing SOMETHING towards achieving your goals. The journey to a destination in business is rarely achieved in a straight line.  Sure, plan the straightest and sweetest course, but don’t be too disheartened when the needle kicks over into the next groove.

If you’ve ever watched a baby learning to walk, you see them try and fall over and over again. It never bothered the baby to get up and try again and again. I experience the same when I coach my girls in gymnastics – they understand that it takes practice to get things right, and most of them are prepared to try and try and try and make small improvements until they get it right.  Where did we lose that patience with ourselves?

I always tried to turn every disaster into an opportunity. (John D Rockefeller)

You know, if you double the rate of failure, you will also likely double your rate of success.  It’s all about taking action…. if you do nothing you’ll have no failure, that’s true.  And you can equally expect a lack of success.  This is where “the law of attraction” fails…. you can’t just wish that Ferrari into your garage.  Even the most skilled “attractor” will need to do SOMETHING to make that happen.  Whether it’s tell someone of your goal, start a savings plan, buy a raffle ticket or get yourself to the local Ferrari dealer and sit in the seat of the latest model.  Action is usually a pre-requisite of  success. 

As one of my clients pointed out, it’s like the old adage, “it’s better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all”.  So go and do it; try that idea.  Do that thing you’ve been putting off.  Get the evidence and knowledge to support it.  Find that mentor.  Do the Nike and “just do it”.  And fail fast forward.  Just keep moving forward, persist in taking action towards your goal and you will achieve great things in your life. You may not succeed–you could even fail miserably– but at least you would be able to look at yourself in the mirror and say, “Oh, what the heck, at least I tried.” 

We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.  (Walt Disney)

So what happened, over the course of a single weekend, to turn this CEO around into becoming someone who brings forward professional literature as idea starters, is literally bubbling with enthusiasm for tackling the tough stuff, wants to re-energise the company values and is even willing to use consultants to work with the leadership team on their responsibility for employee engagement?? I admit I’m a bit stumped to be able to provide a comprehensive answer, yet I do have a few ideas.  If this is something you want to achieve in your organisation, read on….. but don’t necessarily expect the answer to be anything you haven’t heard before!

1.  Engage support from the general manaers, or next-level-down-from-the-CEO.  Frankly, if the CEO is the problem you will need support in other areas of the organisation.  This group are the change agents.  They have either been happy with the CEO’s stance on this issue or have been privately (even not so privately) frustrated with the situation.  Find the people willing to speak their truth to the CEO, and support them as they move towards more authentic leadership behaviour.  These people have a long-standing working relationship with the CEO, and will have more influence than you ever will if push comes to shove!

2.  Be firm in your vision of what the organisation needs.  Whenever you talk to anyone in the organisation, you need to be an un-movable force for what is needed to improve the situation for them.  This needs to be evidence-based - whether from business results, customer feedback or employee feedback – you need to be justifiably passionate about what you want for the organisation to move towards.  This clarity of vision and purpose will have influence over time (usually not as quickly as you would like, but cultural change is a slow learner….), especially with the CEO and general management team.  In my experience the rest of the organisation will “get it” pretty quickly!

3.  Respect for the CEO and their exprience and knowledge.  Let’s face it, although some people can get promoted beyond their capability it’s pretty rare in CEOs.  Whether you like their style or philosophy, there is typically definite substance to their experience and knowledge that earned them the position.  As a subject matter expert or young up-and-comer, you may believe that you have the answer to all the organisation’s problems.  And in many ways, you do!  Yet to achieve lasting change you will need to learn to work within the limitations and boundaries established by the CEO.  Please note that I’m not advising that you accept these limitations and boundaries whole-heartedly - I believe personally that change happens one individual at a time, and in this case I’m talking about the CEO.  Just like any great business leader they need to stay abreast of current trends and best practice.  I’m simply suggesting that the longer-term view of “education” rather than “transformation” may be the difference between frustration and eventual success.

So back to the CEO with the weekend make-over?  Beyond what I’ve mentioned above I can’t explain it.  An epiphany?  Whatever the cause, I’m very grateful for the change and am loving the positive energy that’s being generated within the leadership team already.  So what if I can’t explain it… bring it ONNNNN!!!

In a book I read recently from the Centre for Creative Leadership, I found a paragraph that resonated with this experience:

” Effective leaders continue to develop their repertoire of skills throughout their careers.  Most leaders begin their careers with clear strengths that they bring to their work.  These strengths vary from leader to leader….. but to be effective in a wide variety of leadership roles and situations, individuals have to master new skills and develop proficiency in additional areas.  Instead of always relying on a limited set of natural capabilities, they have to become more well-rounded.” (Developmental Assignments: Creating Learning Experiences without Changing Jobs, Cynthia McCauley, 2006).

I see many leaders continuing to cling to the natural capabilities that got them appointed to a leadership role – but manyof these people neglect to take stock and see the damage they cause in their team or indeed, throught an entire organisation, by refusing to see their personal weaknesses.  So here’s a quick challenge question to all the leaders out there:

A.  How many people directly report to you? (I’m hoping there’s more than 1….)

B.  How many of thos people would follow you through think and thin, because they are totally engaged with your vision?

Calculate B divided by A and multiply by 100 to get a percentage score.

I can tell you now that it’s my personal mission to raise that leadership score across the general leadership polupation to an average of over 80%, which means that leaders would have 8 out of every 10 of their direct reports totally engaged in their vision.  The current information on global employee engagement scores is that it’s significantly less than my target…. f rom 2008 to 2010, Aon Hewitt’s measure of the overall global average employee engagement score dropped from 59% to 56%. This decline is the largest that seen in the last 15 years, and this change is largely the result of regional score declines in Europe and North America, yet Australia is showing similar trends.

Am I just being “Pollyanna” about this target?  Well, I don’t believe so.  In fact, I believe that every leader – with development and solid HR supporting systems – can become a 8+ leader.  However it takes a significant change in day-to-day focus to make it happen.  But the results of having a more engaged workforce (think low turnover, improved productivity and creativity, retained organisational knowledge, happier workplace) might just be worth some short-term discomfort for some.

Please feel free to post your score or comment – I’d love to hear your thoughts on the “leadership score”.